Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Father's Day

One of the most important roles on this planet, in my opinion, is that of a Father. My father did the best he could with what he knew, but he would admit that he failed more times than he succeeded at being a father to me and my siblings. I missed out on that special Father/Daughter relationship throughout my childhood and well into my adult years. Through forgiveness, I'm thankful that I made peace with him and we were able to enjoy a mutually respectful relationship the last 5 years of his life. I truly miss him. If you're a Father, be sure your children know you love them, that you'd die or fight for them if you had to.  Be their hero. 

And if you're a divorced Father, that's not an excuse to neglect your children. They need you.  Any man can make a child, but that doesn't make him a Father. Take your role serious. Your child's identity and well-being depend on it.  My two oldest daughters' biological Father was never around for them. He's caused them more pain throughout their lives than any man they've ever known. He abandoned, ignored and neglected them. It wasn't only their loss to have not have known the love, protection and respect from their biological Father, but it was his loss as well.  I've seen first hand the effects the lack of an earthly Father's love has on the future decisions of their young and adult children.  I've lived it myself.  

Towards the end of my Dad's life, he would often say he wished he'd done so many things differently, mostly the kind of Father he was. Although I knew he genuinely meant what he said, it didn't change the past.  Even though we came to a healthier place in our relationship, of which I'm forever grateful, it couldn't change what could have been. I truly believe that haunted him and proved to be the greatest regret in his life.


If you didn't have a Father that loved, nurtured, protected and honored you, that's no excuse to be that same kind of Father to your own children! Change the legacy and break the cycle. Your children are depending on you! They are rooting for you! No matter what kind of Father you've been up till now, you have the power to change it! Ask The Lord to help you. Ask Him to show you how to be the Father He's called you to be. Seek forgiveness, even beg for it, if you have to! I would bet that no matter what you've done, your children will run to you with open arms! Even as an adult woman, I never stopped praying, hoping, wishing and longing for my earthy Father to accept and love me.  I never stopped desiring that special relationship a daughter longs for with her Father or his approval.  I desperately wanted to know he was proud of me. So, pick up the phone, drive to their home, walk down the hallway. Wherever your children are, go to them and make wrong things right.  Pride will destroy you. Humble yourself before them. 

On your death bed, I don't believe you'll be saying "I wish I'd spent more time at work".  If you're still here and you have children, it's not too late . Make things right. Make things better. Be the Father that God called you to be. Your children will inherit the rewards of your decision. Or they will suffer because of them. It's your choice. You decide. 

Happy Father's Day. 


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Happy Birthday to Me!


This was a wild, crazy fun weekend, filled with parties! It started with Teryn's baby shower on Saturday (it's a boy!), followed by Salem's 5th Birthday Party on Sunday afternoon and my party on Sunday night! It started out with my younger sister (pictured in the afro!) flying in and surprising me from Orlando, Florida on Friday morning.  It was awesome!  She's my best friend, confidante, cheerleader and one of the most incredible women I've ever known. 

Yesterday was my actual 50th Birthday, but the partying started on Friday!  Yes, I'm 50!  There, I said it.  Some people are very uncomfortable sharing their age with others. Not me. Age is relative.  I truly believe you can be in your 70's or 80's, yet still feel much younger inside! I look in the mirror sometimes and think, "Who are YOU, and what have you done with ME?!"  I thank God for one great thing that come with age.  Wisdom.  I have more knowledge and wisdom about life than I ever had when I was younger.  Sure, I've made many mistakes in my lifetime (I'm sure I'll make more before I'm done here), but each one of them taught me something.  OK, I admit, there are some things I wish I could have a "do over".  The last serious relationship was a nightmare, but all in all, I am who I am because of the decisions I've made. As I've matured, I've come to truly like myself.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not where I need to be yet, but at least I'm not where I used to be! And, I call that progress!

For the past few months, my daughters have been planning a surprise birthday party for me.  And, was I surprised! In our family, this is a milestone, but, they pulled it off.  I am a 70's MUSIC FANATIC!  I own the Time Life 70's Collection and I listen to Hippie Radio Nashville practically every day. My girls' know me well.  They grew up on Barry Manilow, the Eagle, Chicago, Helen Reddy, ABBA and so on.  And, they love it almost as much as I do.  So, I was beyond excited when they told me we were dressing up in 70's garb and going out on the town! 

My birthday was on June 2, but Salem, my granddaughter, turned 5 and the day before on June 1! So, it was an incredible weekend of fun, fun, fun it was! I was able to spend it with not only all four of my daughters, but my sister as well!

After Salem's gymnastics birthday party on Saturday, my daughters informed me that I needed to go shopping. They told me I had to put a 70's outfit together and show up at Teryn and Chad's house no earlier than 7:30 pm the next day. The story was that there was a limo coming to take us out on the town. I thought that was awesome, considering how much I LOVE 70's music.

So, my sister, Brenda, (who'd actually gifted me with my first surprise when she flew in from Orlando the day before), and I made a quick trip to Good Will! It took us literally 10 minutes to find my outfit and we were ready to partay!!

So, the next day, Sunday, around 7:20, my sister, Brenda and daughter, Kolby, blindfolded me, put me in the car and drove us to Teryn's house (she lives exactly 11 minutes from me). They said they wanted to surprise me with the kind of limo they rented.  In reality, they didn't want me to see all the cars surrounding Teryn and Chad's house!

As they guided me in, I was filled with excitement. I just assumed they wanted to surprise me with their outfits! But, to my delight, when they took of the blindfold, the house was filled with so many people I love. It was the best birthday party I've ever had!

Doug Griffin, my good friend, is a radio DJ here in Nashville, who also DJ's weddings and parties on the weekends. He brought his music, board and even the disco balls.  We danced as he played my favorite 70's music all night long!  Literally. My feet still hurt from dancing the night away, but it was well worth it!  If you ever need a GREAT DJ, call Doug!  He's the BEST!

Here are just a couple pictures from the night. It was wonderful being with people who mean so much to me. I missed those who couldn't make it, but they'll come next year.  I've already decided this will become a yearly tradition! Thank you to my amazing daughters for pulling this off, to my sister for flying in from Florida and to my wonderful friends who shared the evening with me, some driving hours to be here!  I'm felt so loved and truly blessed.

I've already started planning next year's party and looking for my outfit.  I'm thinking GoGo Boots?!:)

Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Bachlorette Party!

Our family started with Chad and Teryn deciding to renew their wedding vows!  Whoohooo!  You'll see some of the beautiful ceremony during next week's Season Finale.  Don't miss it! 

Filming tonight's episode was a blast!  We had so much fun!  And, we literally knew nothing about the "pizza guy"!  You didn't see this on camera, but when I saw how my girls reacted when they realized there wasn't any pizza in his box, I laughed so hard that I almost peed in my pants!  Kolby jumped behind the couch, Kendra couldn't take her hands away from her face, Tawni was screaming and Teryn ran to her room.  After I stopped laughing and realized how upset Teryn was, I took action.  You may be into the whole "stripper" scene, but we aren't.  We won't judge you if you are, so don't judge us because we're not! 

Our family absolutely loves being together.  We always have a blast.  So, this night was no exception.  It's hard to believe that Season 2 is almost over.  Whether there's a Season 3 or not, (we don't know), or which families come back, we've had a great time the past two years.  For the most part, it's been a fun experience.  You've only be able to see minutes from months and hours of filming.  There's absolutely NO way to see everything, which is too bad because there were so many tender moments you didn't get to see.  My most favorite scene was sharing my abortion testimony with Kolby.  It was so powerful and to this day, I believe it could have helped so many men and women who are dealing with the decision to have an abortion.  You can see my testimony online on YouTube if you or someone you know needs encouragement.

Too many times to count, so many of you have written to express your appreciation for our family, our vulnerabilities, honesty and raw emotion that we've shown during both seasons.  Thank you so much for letting us know how blessed you've been by our family.  We appreciate it more than we can ever say.

Well, next week is the final episode.  You won't want to miss it.  Our family has some beautiful moments.  Can't wait!

Be sure to visit our website, www.TheKoloffs.com and check out Kolby's "Be Free" EP on ITunes!

And be watching next Wednesday night at 9/8c on Lifetime for "Preachers Daughters"!

Friday, April 25, 2014

Season 2 Catch up!

Please forgive me!  I haven't blogged for the past couple of episodes and I apologize to those of you who are faithful readers.

Can you believe that there are only 2 more episodes to go?  Season 2 has flown by!  All in all, our family has been loving how the season has played out.  There's still more to come!

Last week, you witnessed Teryn and Chad dealing with marriage struggles, which everyone goes through and in the next couple of episodes, you'll see that everything works out fine.  I loved that Chad told Teryn, "Divorce is not an option."  I can say from experience that we give up on marriage too soon.  I did.  It's too late for me to go back, nor would I want to, but it's not too late for them.  What you weren't able to see on the show, are the issues they've been dealing with, but the bottom line is this.  Marriage is hard. And it takes hard work and dedication.  I'm so proud of how they fight for their marriage, each other and their daughter and future children!  Good stuff coming, so keep watching!

This week you witnessed one of those consequences of divorce.  I didn't think Kolby should be going to the beach with 2 other 16 year olds alone for a week, but Nikita allowed her to, since it was during her visitation with him.  I told him I didn't think it was a good idea for her to go without him or another adult, but his words were, "It's my decision to make."  So, he made it.  To this day, I still disagree with him on this parenting choice.  In no way will anyone convince me that three 16 year old girls should be at the beach, four hours from home, without adult supervision.  This never had anything to do with not trusting Kolby.  I trust her 100%.  It may not seem like it sometimes by what you see on the show, but I trust all my girls explicitly.  It had everything to do with her safety and the safety of the girls' she was with.

Thankfully, Kolby came home safe.  I was disappointed that Kolby knew I didn't feel her trip to the beach was a safe or good idea, yet went anyway.  But, I would have done the same thing she did, I'm sure.  If one parent says yes and another says no, I would have done what I wanted to as well.  I was angry with Nikita.  You just didn't see that conversation on camera.

All in all, everybody's safe.

Two more episodes to go, so be sure to be watching Wednesday night at 9/8c on Lifetime.

If you haven't already, be sure to check out our new website, www.TheKoloffs.com and Kolby's new EP on Youtube!  It's so good!

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Season 2 - Episode 3

Whew! This episode was intense for our family. We've had many discussions about church, how much should we go, where should we go, etc. etc.  And, I won't apologize for the fact that I absolutely want to see my daughters, their husbands, my granddaughter and future grandchildren in church. I believe in church. I believe in fellowshipping with other believers. But let me add, just because you attend a church building week after week doesn't make you a Christian. I've met people who practically live at church, but are some of the most evil, wicked people I've ever met.  So, don't hear what I'm not saying.  Going to church doesn't save you, make you a saint or even a good person.  Having Jesus Christ in your life is what changes you from the inside out, not being a church attender. But, I still believe that church is an important part of growing in our walk with The Lord.

I admit, I've met as many sinners out of the church as I have inside it. There's just something special and beautiful about going to church as a family.  And, let's not forget. The bible is specific about assembling together with other believers.  You can read about this in Hebrews 10:25.

On with my re-cap. The night before, which was a Saturday, Salem spent the night with us, so Chad and Teryn could have a date night.  Kolby and I had already decided we would skip church the next day and take Salem to the Nashville Zoo.  We were all very excited about this!  We had no intentions of taking her or even going to church.  But, when we woke up Sunday morning, it was pouring rain outside, so we knew the zoo was out. We didn't see the point in skipping church and sitting at home, which is why we decided to go to church. (For the record, I tried calling Teryn to tell her that our plans had changed, but she wasn't available.)

Not for one second did we think Teryn or Chad would mind if we took Salem to church because we know they trust us 100%. We weren't trying to do something behind their back either. It wasn't like that, although I can understand why that crossed their minds since we'd just had a conversation a few
days earlier with Teryn about whether Salem should be attending Kids Church.

Let me make something perfectly clear. This wasn't the first time in Salem's life she'd attended church. We've been to church many times as a family and I've taken her alone before. I would never take a milestone moment away from her parent's. However, it was the first time she'd attended this particular church.

Teryn and Chad are Christians and they both love The Lord very much. Because they grew up in similar, strict Christian homes, that demanded and expected you in church anytime the doors were open, they don't make decisions like this lightly.  I may not always agree with their parenting styles, but, nonetheless, it is still their decision, not mine.

Looking back, knowing how they felt about all of this, I can understand why they would be upset with us. We shouldn't have taken her without their permission. Salem is their daughter, not mine.  This wasn't about her being in church, it was about us not asking them. And I understand completely.

I learned a lesson the hard way, and it won't happen again.  I trust them as Salem's parents. They are doing an amazing job. She's an awesome little girl and I'm so proud to be her Mimi.  Teryn and Chad are teaching me a few things themselves. I admire how they stand up for what they believe to be the best thing for their family. I'm just praying that means going to church with us!  At least once in a while.

Keep watching to see how this unfolds!

Be sure to check out our brand new website, www.TheKoloffs.com!

Tune in Wednesdays on Lifetime at 9/8c for another episode of "Preachers Daughters"!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

"The Piano Man"

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times.  I'm obsessed with the music of the 70's.   My Time Life 70's Collection is one of my most prized possessions. If that statement gives my age away, I don't mind. I think people get too caught up in age anyway. Do we think if we say we're this age or that age, it changes how old we truly are?  News flash. It doesn't.

I was born in the 60's, so when I began appreciating music, I discovered the Eagles, Chicago, Barry Manilow, Journey, and so many more. In the past 18 months, I've had the privilege of seeing some of the best, my long time favorites, live and in concert. Just another reason to love Nashville. The best of the best always come to "Music City".  A year ago, I pinched myself when I was 20 feet from Barry Manilow.  I sang every song, even tearing up a few times. Hey, don't judge me!  Just a few months ago, I went solo to an Eagles concert.  It was magical! Not to mention, the live music all over town.  On any given night, you can head into Downtown Nashville and hear some of the best music you'll  ever hear in your life.

This past Friday, I was beyond blessed to see another legend. The "Piano Man" himself, Billy Joel.   At 65, this guy still has everything it takes to be at the top of his game. His voice is flawless and his stage presence is mezmorizing.

My life is blessed with a loving, amazing family, fulfilling career, great friends, and of course, the music. Oh, the music:)

Next up?  Who knows, but it's going to be unforgettable.  I'm betting on it.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Season 2 - Episode 2

If you missed last nights episode, make sure that you find it On Demand or online. It was really good!     I was so proud of Teryn and how she was there for Kolby. That's been one of the best things about having daughters. They are each other's best friend and always there for one another.  And, they usually give the same advice I would!  The bottom line? We all want what's best for each other.

You were also able to see a little more of our "Koloff Family Dinner". It definitely got heated at time between Nikita and I, but I'm very passionate about my girls. It's not possible to see the entire dinner in a few minutes, but I think the producers did an excellent job of capturing the essence of  our discussion.

As I wrote about in last weeks re-cap, I don't agree with Nikita forcing Kolby (or any of the girls), to do anything. I never did. I trust their heart.  No one has the right to force ministry on anyone. That's between you and The Lord. My daughters love The Lord very much and seek His wisdom, guidance  and direction, the same as Nikita and I do, in all they do. I'm sure Nikita means well, but he has to accept the fact that he's not the only one who hears from God.

Kolby is sold out to Jesus. She absolutely wants His will in her life. That doesn't mean she's not going to make mistakes. And if she chooses college over ministry school and it's the wrong choice, it's God's job to reveal that to her, not ours.

I don't believe for a second that Kolby was rebelling against God's will or that she doesn't want to do ministry, I think it about her needing to know her Dad trusts her heart and her own personal relationship with God. I know my daughter's heart and she has a heart for God's will.

Besides, Kolby's already doing ministry! Because of this show, she's become a role model to millions of teenagers. And with her YouTube Channel, "The New Different, she's reaching the churched and un-churched through her weekly bible lessons that she and Sadie Robertson started 7 months ago.   You should definitely check it out if you haven't already.

My heart broke for Teryn tonight as well.  She dreamed of becoming a broadcaster or the next Guiliana Rancic all her life!  And I know she had what it took to succeed in that career. She's smart, beautiful, a great speaker and very personable and interested in people.

During her senior year in high school, she and I visited several colleges. It was awesome!  All along, not knowing that Nikita had NO intentions of helping financially with her college dream.  He broke
that news to both of us only after we'd spent months searching and finally deciding on the school of her choice. He made it abundantly clear. No ministry school for a year, no financial help.  Period. It broke her heart. Mine too. I didn't have my own money then, so it was hard for me to help. And he made too much money for financial assistance.   But, I've told Teryn it's never too late!

Let me clarify something.  My girls have a strong, hard work ethic. They've never expected or felt entitled to anything.  They just wanted a little help from their parents. They weren't expecting 100% of their college expenses to be paid, they just wanted a support and help. They would have never asked if we couldn't have afforded it. We could.

I hope you'll continue on our journey as we see what's next for The Koloff's!

Next week looks good!  Hope you'll be watching!

Be sure to visit our website, www.TheKoloffs.com! Kolby and her sisters designed some great shirts!  You'll find them in the Store link.

"Preachers Daughters" airs Wednesdays, 9/8c on Lifetime